ACT IV. SCENE 4.
A street
Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS with the OFFICER
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Fear me not, man; I will not break away.
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger.
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you 'twill sound harshly in her cars.
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Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS, with a rope's-end
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Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! Have you that I sent you for?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | But where's the money?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | write_ads(1,1)> Five hundred ducats, villain, for rope?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I
return'd.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
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[Beating him]
| OFFICER. | Good sir, be patient.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in
adversity.
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| OFFICER. | write_ads(1,1)> Good now, hold thy tongue.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | I would I were senseless, sir, that I
might not feel your blows.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Thou art sensible in nothing but
blows, and so is an ass.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | I am an ass indeed; you may prove it
by my long 'ears. I have served him from the hour of my
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for
my service but blows. When I am cold he heats me with
beating; when I am warm he cools me with beating. I am
wak'd with it when I sleep; rais'd with it when I sit; driven
out of doors with it when I go from home; welcom'd home
with it when I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders as
beggar wont her brat; and I think, when he hath lam'd me,
I shall beg with it from door to door.
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Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the COURTEZAN, and a SCHOOLMASTER
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call'd PINCH
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end;or
rather, to prophesy like the parrot, 'Beware the rope's-end.'
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Wilt thou still talk?
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[Beating him]
| COURTEZAN. | How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
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| ADRIANA. | His incivility confirms no less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer:
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.
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| LUCIANA. | Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
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| COURTEZAN. | Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy.
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| PINCH. | Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | There is my hand, and let it feel your
ear.
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[Striking him]
| PINCH. | I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers,
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight.
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
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| ADRIANA. | O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I denied to enter in my house?
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| ADRIANA. | O husband, God doth know you din'd at home,
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Din'd at home! Thou villain, what sayest
thou?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Sir, Sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut
out?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut
out.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | And did not she herself revile me there?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and
scorn me?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd
you.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | And did not I in rage depart from thence?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | In verity, you did. My bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
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| ADRIANA. | Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?
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| PINCH. | It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,
And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest
me.
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| ADRIANA. | Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Money by me! Heart and goodwill you might,
But surely, master, not a rag of money.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Went'st not thou to her for purse of
ducats?
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| ADRIANA. | He came to me, and I deliver'd it.
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| LUCIANA. | And I am witness with her that she did.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | God and the rope-maker bear me witness
That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
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| PINCH. | Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks.
They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth
to-day?
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
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| ADRIANA. | I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold;
But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.
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| ADRIANA. | Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,
And art confederate with a damned pack
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me;
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
That would behold in me this shameful sport.
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| ADRIANA. | O, bind him, bind him; let him not come near me.
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| PINCH. | More company! The fiend is strong within him.
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Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives
| LUCIANA. | Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler,
thou,
I am thy prisoner. Wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?
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| OFFICER. | Masters, let him go;
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
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| PINCH. | Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.
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[They bind DROMIO]
| ADRIANA. | What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
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| OFFICER. | He is my prisoner; if I let him go,
The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.
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| ADRIANA. | I will discharge thee ere I go from thee;
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good Master Doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | O most unhappy strumpet!
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Master, I am here ent'red in bond for you.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. | Out on thee, villian! Wherefore
dost thou mad me?
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| DROMIO OF EPHESUS. | Will you be bound for nothing?
Be mad, good master; cry 'The devil!'
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| LUCIANA. | God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
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| ADRIANA. | Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
Exeunt all but ADRIANA, LUCIANA, OFFICERS, and COURTEZAN
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
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| OFFICER. | One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?
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| ADRIANA. | I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
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| OFFICER. | Two hundred ducats.
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| ADRIANA. | Say, how grows it due?
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| OFFICER. | Due for a chain your husband had of him.
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| ADRIANA. | He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
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| COURTEZAN. | When as your husband, all in rage, to-day
Came to my house, and took away my ring-
The ring I saw upon his finger now-
Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
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| ADRIANA. | It may be so, but I did never see it.
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is;
I long to know the truth hereof at large.
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Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, with his rapier drawn, and
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
| LUCIANA. | God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
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| ADRIANA. | And come with naked swords.
Let's call more help to have them bound again.
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| OFFICER. | Away, they'll kill us!
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Exeunt all but ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE as fast as may be, frighted
| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. | I see these witches are afraid of swords.
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| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. | She that would be your wife now ran from you.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. | Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from
thence.
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
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| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. | Faith, stay here this night; they will
surely do us no harm; you saw they speak us fair, give us
gold; methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me,
could find in my heart to stay here still and turn witch.
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| ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. | I will not stay to-night for all the town;
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
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Exeunt
Next
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