ACT II. SCENE I.
London. Before the Boar's Head Tavern, Eastcheap
Enter CORPORAL NYM and LIEUTENANT BARDOLPH
| BARDOLPH. | Well met, Corporal Nym.
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| NYM. | Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.
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| BARDOLPH. | What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?
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| NYM. | For my part, I care not; I say little, but when time shall
serve, there shall be smiles- but that shall be as it may. I dare
not fight; but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple
one; but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure
cold as another man's sword will; and there's an end.
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| BARDOLPH. | I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we'll
be all three sworn brothers to France. Let't be so, good Corporal
Nym.
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| NYM. | Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the certain of it;
and when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my
rest, that is the rendezvous of it.
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| BARDOLPH. | write_ads(1,1)> It is certain, Corporal, that he is married to Nell
Quickly; and certainly she did you wrong, for you were
troth-plight to her.
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| NYM. | I cannot tell; things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and
they may have their throats about them at that time; and some say
knives have edges. It must be as it may; though patience be a
tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I
cannot tell.
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Enter PISTOL and HOSTESS
| BARDOLPH. | Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good Corporal, be
patient here.
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| NYM. | How now, mine host Pistol!
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| PISTOL. | Base tike, call'st thou me host?
Now by this hand, I swear I scorn the term;
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.
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| HOSTESS. | No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and board a
dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of
their needles, but it will be thought we keep a bawdy-house
straight. [Nym draws] O well-a-day, Lady, if he be not drawn! Now
we shall see wilful adultery and murder committed.
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| BARDOLPH. | write_ads(1,1)> Good Lieutenant, good Corporal, offer nothing here.
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| NYM. | Pish!
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| PISTOL. | Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd cur of
Iceland!
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| HOSTESS. | Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword.
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| NYM. | Will you shog off? I would have you solus.
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| PISTOL. | 'Solus,' egregious dog? O viper vile!
The 'solus' in thy most mervailous face;
The 'solus' in thy teeth, and in thy throat,
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy;
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the 'solus' in thy bowels;
For I can take, and Pistol's cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.
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| NYM. | I am not Barbason: you cannot conjure me. I have an humour to
knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I
will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms; if you
would walk off I would prick your guts a little, in good terms,
as I may, and thaes the humour of it.
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| PISTOL. | O braggart vile and damned furious wight!
The grave doth gape and doting death is near;
Therefore exhale
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[PISTOL draws]
| BARDOLPH. | Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first
stroke I'll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier.
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[Draws]
| PISTOL. | An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate.
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[PISTOL and Nym sheathe their swords]
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Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give;
Thy spirits are most tall.
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| NYM. | I will cut thy throat one time or other, in fair terms; that
is the humour of it.
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| PISTOL. | 'Couple a gorge!'
That is the word. I thee defy again.
O hound of Crete, think'st thou my spouse to get?
No; to the spital go,
And from the powd'ring tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.
I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she; and- pauca, there's enough.
Go to.
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Enter the Boy
| BOY. | Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master; and your
hostess- he is very sick, and would to bed. Good Bardolph, put
thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan.
Faith, he's very ill.
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| BARDOLPH. | Away, you rogue.
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| HOSTESS. | By my troth, he'll yield the crow a pudding one of these
days: the King has kill'd his heart. Good husband, come home
presently
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Exeunt HOSTESS and BOY
| BARDOLPH. | Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France
together; why the devil should we keep knives to cut one
another's throats?
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| PISTOL. | Let floods o'erswell, and fiends for food howl on!
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| NYM. | You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?
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| PISTOL. | Base is the slave that pays.
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| NYM. | That now I will have; that's the humour of it.
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| PISTOL. | As manhood shall compound: push home.
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[PISTOL and Nym draw]
| BARDOLPH. | By this sword, he that makes the first thrust I'll kill
him; by this sword, I will.
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| PISTOL. | Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.
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[Sheathes his sword]
| BARDOLPH. | Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends; an
thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too. Prithee put up.
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| NYM. | I shall have my eight shillings I won of you at betting?
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| PISTOL. | A noble shalt thou have, and present pay;
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood.
I'll live by Nym and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall sutler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.
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| NYM. | [Sheathing his sword] I shall have my noble?
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| PISTOL. | In cash most justly paid.
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| NYM. | [Shaking hands] Well, then, that's the humour of't.
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Re-enter HOSTESS
| HOSTESS. | As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John.
Ah, poor heart! he is so shak'd of a burning quotidian tertian
that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.
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| NYM. | The King hath run bad humours on the knight; that's the even
of it.
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| PISTOL. | Nym, thou hast spoke the right;
His heart is fracted and corroborate.
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| NYM. | The King is a good king, but it must be as it may; he passes
some humours and careers.
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| PISTOL. | Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins, we will live.
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Exeunt
Next
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