ACT I. SCENE II.
The park
Enter ARMADO and MOTH, his page
| ARMADO. | Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows
melancholy?
|
 |
| MOTH. | A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
|
|
| MOTH. | No, no; O Lord, sir, no!
|
|
| ARMADO. | How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender
juvenal?
|
|
| MOTH. | By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Why tough signior? Why tough signior?
|
|
| MOTH. | Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?
|
|
| ARMADO. | write_ads(1,1)> I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton
appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.
|
|
| MOTH. | And I, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old
time, which we may name tough.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Pretty and apt.
|
|
| MOTH. | How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and
my saying pretty?
|
|
| ARMADO. | Thou pretty, because little.
|
|
| MOTH. | Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
|
|
| ARMADO. | And therefore apt, because quick.
|
|
| MOTH. | Speak you this in my praise, master?
|
|
| ARMADO. | write_ads(1,1)> In thy condign praise.
|
|
| MOTH. | I will praise an eel with the same praise.
|
|
| ARMADO. | that an eel is ingenious?
|
|
| MOTH. | That an eel is quick.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I do say thou art quick in answers; thou heat'st my blood.
|
|
| MOTH. | I am answer'd, sir.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I love not to be cross'd.
|
|
| MOTH. | [Aside] He speaks the mere contrary: crosses love not him.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I have promised to study three years with the Duke.
|
|
| MOTH. | You may do it in an hour, sir.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Impossible.
|
|
| MOTH. | How many is one thrice told?
|
|
| ARMADO. | I am ill at reck'ning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
|
|
| MOTH. | You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I confess both; they are both the varnish of a complete
man.
|
|
| MOTH. | Then I am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace
amounts to.
|
|
| ARMADO. | It doth amount to one more than two.
|
|
| MOTH. | Which the base vulgar do call three.
|
|
| ARMADO. | True.
|
|
| MOTH. | Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three
studied ere ye'll thrice wink; and how easy it is to put
'years'to the word 'three,' and study three years in two words, the
dancing horse will tell you.
|
|
| ARMADO. | A most fine figure!
|
|
| MOTH. | [Aside] To prove you a cipher.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I will hereupon confess I am in love. And as it is base for
a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing
my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from
the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and
ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devis'd curtsy. I
think scorn to sigh; methinks I should out-swear Cupid. Comfort
me, boy; what great men have been in love?
|
|
| MOTH. | Hercules, master.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more;
and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
|
|
| MOTH. | Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage, great
carriage, for he carried the town gates on his back like a
porter; and he was in love.
|
|
| ARMADO. | O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee
in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in
love too. Who was Samson's love, my dear Moth?
|
|
| MOTH. | A woman, master.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Of what complexion?
|
|
| MOTH. | Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the
four.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Tell me precisely of what complexion.
|
|
| MOTH. | Of the sea-water green, sir.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Is that one of the four complexions?
|
|
| MOTH. | As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Green, indeed, is the colour of lovers; but to have a love
of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He
surely affected her for her wit.
|
|
| MOTH. | It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
|
|
| ARMADO. | My love is most immaculate white and red.
|
|
| MOTH. | Most maculate thoughts, master, are mask'd under such
colours.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Define, define, well-educated infant.
|
|
| MOTH. | My father's wit my mother's tongue assist me!
|
|
| ARMADO. | Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty, and pathetical!
|
|
| MOTH. | If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne'er be known;
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know;
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and
red.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
|
|
| MOTH. | The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages
since; but I think now 'tis not to be found; or if it were, it
would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love
that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind
Costard; she deserves well.
|
|
| MOTH. | [Aside] To be whipt; and yet a better love than my master.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
|
|
| MOTH. | And that's great marvel, loving a light wench.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I say, sing.
|
|
| MOTH. | Forbear till this company be past.
|
|
Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA
| DULL. | Sir, the Duke's pleasure is that you keep Costard safe; and
you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but 'a
must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at
the park; she is allow'd for the day-woman. Fare you well.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | Man!
|
|
| ARMADO. | I will visit thee at the lodge.
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | That's hereby.
|
|
| ARMADO. | I know where it is situate.
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | Lord, how wise you are!
|
|
| ARMADO. | I will tell thee wonders.
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | With that face?
|
|
| ARMADO. | I love thee.
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | So I heard you say.
|
|
| ARMADO. | And so, farewell.
|
|
| JAQUENETTA. | Fair weather after you!
|
|
| DULL. | Come, Jaquenetta, away
|
|
Exit with JAQUENETTA
| ARMADO. | Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be
pardoned.
|
|
| COSTARD. | Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full
stomach.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Thou shalt be heavily punished.
|
|
| COSTARD. | I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but
lightly rewarded.
|
|
| ARMADO. | Take away this villain; shut him up.
|
|
| MOTH. | Come, you transgressing slave, away.
|
|
| COSTARD. | Let me not be pent up, sir; I will fast, being loose.
|
|
| MOTH. | No, sir; that were fast, and loose. Thou shalt to prison.
|
|
| COSTARD. | Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I
have seen, some shall see.
|
|
| MOTH. | What shall some see?
|
|
| COSTARD. | Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is
not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore
I will say nothing. I thank God I have as little patience as
another man, and therefore I can be quiet.
|
|
Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD
| ARMADO. | I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe,
which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread.
I shall be forsworn- which is a great argument of falsehood- if I
love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted?
Love is a familiar; Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but
Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent
strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club, and therefore
too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier. The first and second cause
will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello
he regards not; his disgrace is to be called boy, but his glory
is to subdue men. Adieu, valour; rust, rapier; be still, drum;
for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some
extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet.
Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
|
|
Exit
Next
|
|
