Milan. A street
| SPEED. | Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.
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| LAUNCE. | Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I
reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hang'd,
nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid, and
the hostess say 'Welcome!'
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| SPEED. | Come on, you madcap; I'll to the alehouse with you
presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have
five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with
Madam Julia?
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| LAUNCE. | Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very
fairly in jest.
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| SPEED. | But shall she marry him?
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| LAUNCE. | No.
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| SPEED. | How then? Shall he marry her?
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| LAUNCE. | write_ads(1,1)> No, neither.
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| SPEED. | What, are they broken?
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| LAUNCE. | No, they are both as whole as a fish.
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| SPEED. | Why then, how stands the matter with them?
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| LAUNCE. | Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well
with her.
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| SPEED. | What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
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| LAUNCE. | What a block art thou that thou canst not! My staff
understands me.
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| SPEED. | What thou say'st?
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| LAUNCE. | write_ads(1,1)> Ay, and what I do too; look thee, I'll but lean, and my
staff understands me.
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| SPEED. | It stands under thee, indeed.
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| LAUNCE. | Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
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| SPEED. | But tell me true, will't be a match?
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| LAUNCE. | Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will;
if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
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| SPEED. | The conclusion is, then, that it will.
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| LAUNCE. | Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a
parable.
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| SPEED. | 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou
that my master is become a notable lover?
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| LAUNCE. | I never knew him otherwise.
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| SPEED. | Than how?
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| LAUNCE. | A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
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| SPEED. | Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me.
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| LAUNCE. | Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.
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| SPEED. | I tell thee my master is become a hot lover.
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| LAUNCE. | Why, I tell thee I care not though he burn himself in love.
If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an
Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
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| SPEED. | Why?
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| LAUNCE. | Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to
the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
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| SPEED. | At thy service
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